Last Saturday, during a Day of Repentance, we had a prayer meeting at Church from 8 AM to Noon. I had the first shift, 8 to 9 AM. I got there early, set up my computer and the projector with a PowerPoint presentation of reminders of things to pray for during our time. When my shift was over, I left for a couple hours rest at home, before returning for the last shift from 11 AM to Noon.
I realized that I was looking at this as a chore, rather than a delight. I was tired and grumpy. My neck hurt. My fatigue in overdrive. I confessed to God that it felt as if I had lost my passion, or perhaps just did not have the energy for it anymore. I wondered if I should just quit and let someone young and energetic take my place – lead this church into the next revival and awakening.
Close to noon and winding everything up, there were three of us left, a married couple and me. I felt God telling me to ask them to pray for me … and just as I turned toward them, they were walking toward me asking if they could pray for me. One of those God “coincidences” maybe?
As they prayed, the husband said two things. First, he said that God was going to give me a new and fresh anointing. That touched my heart. Even more though, he spoke of God’s love for me. That broke my heart. I was not feeling very loveable at the time. I felt like I had disappointed God with my attitude. I felt like I had saddened God with my wanting to run away from responsibilities and just let someone else do it.
As wretched as I thought of myself, God was not coming down to join my pity party! (Smile!) He led others to me to pray and lift me up to Him instead.
I am waiting on Him now for that refreshed anointing. I am silent before His love for me. “Lord, You have searched me and known me…You understand my thoughts from far away…You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me.” [Psalm 139:1-5 HCSB]
