I have been a hospice chaplain and a pastor. As such, I have seen a lot of death and dying, as well as people who have experienced profound losses from other reasons.
While I understand that the emphasis of the church is to “make disciples,” I also know that part of pastoring is shepherding. It is walking with people through the difficulties of life and helping them make peace with those things that are often not understandable.
Mourning is part of being human. Mourning is actively dealing with the grief we experience over profound loss, such as the death of a loved one, or an accident or disease that changes our life. It is an experience we go through when something we value has been taken from us. We can also experience mourning (godly sorrow) when we are called to repent over our own sins.
Mourning is a familiar theme in the Scriptures. We see great men of God mourn over the loss of spouses, children, and friends. In the OT, their mourning was often accompanied by weeping, throwing dirt upon their heads, or tearing their clothing. Jesus, Himself, stood outside the tomb of His friend Lazarus and wept.
My heart is always touched by those who must go through a time of grief and mourning. And nothing gets my dander up faster than to hear someone rebuke a mourner by misquoting the Scriptures.
1Thessalonians 4:13-18 reminds us that as believers we too will experience grief and mourn. We, however, mourn differently from the world. We mourn with hope. “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, concerning those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.” [vs 13 HCSB]
While we mourn with hope, we still mourn. We still experience those emotions tied to grief that the world experiences. We still must actively mourn loss. And we still must allow others to express their grief in our presence without criticism or reproach.