Past Devotions

Next to last retreat post:

I woke Wednesday at 2 AM.  I could not sleep thinking about what the day might hold.  I even considered staying another full day and checking out on Friday.  Tuesday was so precious, I thought I could stay two more weeks if that were possible. I was so thankful for what God spoke to me.

I decided to make Wednesday a day of thanksgiving. I went down the list I brought of people and thanked the Lord for each one.  I spent most of the day just offering thanks.  As the day wore on, I looked up Scriptures regarding giving thanks and began to pray through them.

The last one I looked at was from 1 Tim 1:12: “I thank Christ Jesus our LORD, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service.”

Wednesday evening, I was once again overcome with the need to “just know Him” – this God who has given me “a little strength” and “considered me faithful” for His service.

I didn’t want anything from Him, I just wanted Him. Him! If anything, Wednesday evening I went to sleep feeling both closer to Him and yet farther away. He had brought me so close to Him through these last few days and yet while that nourished my soul, it created in me an even deeper thirst for more of Him.

Ah Lord Jesus, I want to know You!

More from the retreat:

When I heard God say to me Tuesday afternoon, “But child, you have a little strength,” I knew that phrase, “little strength” was in one of the letters Jesus gave to a church in the Book of Revelation. I rushed to find it, setting my Bible on the windowsill as I looked out toward the mountains shrouded with storm clouds.

The phrase is in the letter to the church at Philadelphia. My heart broke open and tears began to flow as I read the letter. Philadelphia is my birthplace(!) was my first reaction. Then I began to sob as I realized God was answering something in my spirit and soul that I had placed on His altar the end of last year.

I had prayed to God about staying at The Way Church as pastor. I told Him that if we did not grow this year, I would take that as His confirmation to step down at the end of 2019 and let a younger, stronger, person take over. It wasn’t a fleece, or an ultimatum (neither of which I am certain God has any responsibility to respond to). It was simply my way of confirming what His will was for me.

Well, I was both right and wrong in that prayer. I was right in asking God to reveal to me what He wanted of me for The Way. I was wrong in the determination of the way He would answer – growth=stay, no growth=leave. I limited His choice of response. He answered in a totally different way. He answered in a way that had nothing to do with growth of the Church. He simply confirmed that I had “a little strength.” And then He spoke through the letter to Philadelphia.

“I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have.” [Rev 3:11]

More from the Retreat:

When I arrived on Sunday, I could see the mountains covered with snow to the east from my window. Looking out brought peace. Tuesday I could only see the base of the mountains as the storms blew in.  The tops of the mountains are there … I know they are there … but they are obscured by the storm clouds. I felt a need to see all the mountains, the very tops … I needed the storms to quiet and clear.

“God, I know You are there. I see but a part. I need to know you, perceive and see you, find out and discern your presence. I need to know by experience. I need the storms in me to quiet and clear.”

Mid-afternoon Tuesday as I stood at the window and looked for the mountains, I was overwhelmed. I remembered Moses as he climbed up the mountain to meet with God and I asked God a simple question. “I have a little strength, will it be enough to climb the mountain, LORD?”

 It was then I heard Him speak.  “But, child, you have a little strength.” I rushed for my Bible. I knew that phrase “little strength” was in one of the letters to the churches in the Book of Revelation, but my mind was a complete blank to which one. I stood by the window, skimming through the letters, looking for those words, “little strength.” 

Then I found them, and I began to sob. They are in the letter to the church at Philadelphia. Philadelphia is my birthplace! As I read Jesus’ words I wept and wept. As I sit here now, I am once again weeping. [Rev 3:7-13]

Yes, LORD. It is a little strength, but it is enough to climb the mountain.

More from the Retreat:

Psalm 46:10a: “Be still and know that I am God.”

That’s the way Tuesday began. But then I read the promise attached to that command. Ps 46:10b: “I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Do I know You God? What does it even mean to “know” You? If I don’t know you, how can I exalt you?

I looked up “know.” The word is yada’ and it means “to know, to learn to know, to perceive, to perceive and see, to find out and to discern, to discriminate, to distinguish, to know by experience, to recognize, to admit, to acknowledge, to confess, to consider, to be acquainted with.”

Mid-day I began to wonder if I could even break through to God, let alone come to know Him as I should. But I pressed on, calming my doubts and fears.  I continued to rest and be still and quiet.  I found being quiet and still most difficult. It seemed strange to go almost an entire day without “doing” something to speed things up!

It doesn’t take long to realize that you can’t “speed” God up no matter how much you wan to … His timing is perfect.

Oh Lord, help me to know You so that I might exalt You!

More from my retreat:

I woke up Tuesday with one thought. “Be still and know that I am God.” [Psalm 46:10]

I vowed to take that literally, and after checking in with Bob, I decided Tuesday would be my “silent” retreat day. No asking, no fussing, not a jumble of mindless words. Just quietness.

God reminded me of Isaiah 30:15:  “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.”

Is that, LORD, for just today, or is that for all of ministry, really, all of life? I need Your strength!

How hard it is to get quiet and still. I found my mind racing. It seems like I have completely cut myself off from the world. No newspaper. No radio. No television. No internet. No Facebook. No phone. No music. No videos. I didn’t know what was happening out there. And suddenly I didn’t really care.

I began to hear my heart and what is inside. I constantly called my mind to rest as it interrupted. I began by striving to rest, now I just was.

God calls, “be still and know ….” I ask myself, “do I even understand what He is asking?”

More from my Retreat:

As Sunday left and Monday arrived, I found myself fussing, trying to make everything (and me) perfect so I could be prepared for what God might want to say or do. I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I pray? Should I be quiet? Should I sing and praise? I couldn’t quite get to a place where my spirit was settled.

As I walked around the room, I noticed that there were two pictures, both of water.  One had water flowing under a bridge, and the other had wild water pouring over rocks.  I realized how thirsty and dry I am. I am not strong like I once was. Holy Spirit, I need rivers of living water! I am thirsty.

I walked the room Monday while I cried, confessed, praised, worshipped, sang, and yes, fussed some more. I “tried” everything I knew to touch God. It all seemed to fall flat.

I meditated on a phrase I came across in one of my books: “I ask great things of a great God.”

 “Yes, God, I do!” My very next thought was: “Why in the world did I put on mascara this morning?” 

Crazy. Unsettled. Striving too hard.  Went to bed, not so much discouraged, as puzzled.

Holy Spirit, I need rivers of living water! I am thirsty.

I arrived at my hotel for my personal retreat early Sunday. My room was on the top floor, the farthest from the elevator and my window looked east to the mountains. It had a kitchen and coffeemaker and of, course, I’d brought my Starbucks along. After setting up the room, I went to the local market to stock up for lunches and dinners. The hotel brought my breakfast by in a box each evening for the following morning.

I had my Bible, a Puritan prayer book, and a couple other books to read. I set my computer on the table but didn’t connect it to the internet. It was there to record my thoughts, and it also contains my Bible Study Plans. I planned on this being a true retreat, no TV, radio, internet, social media, newspapers, phone, texting, etc. I planned a call to Bob in the AM and one in the PM, that’s all.  This was to be just me and hopefully, God.

I wasn’t sure where or how to begin. I wasn’t with others, there was no set schedule. I decided to just continue where I left off in my Read Through the Bible in a Year Plan. So I settled in the big recliner and opened my Bible. I was at Psalm 71.

“Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone…. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare Your power to the next generation, Your might to all who are to come.”  [vs9,18]

Is that the cry of my heart?  I surely know I am old and gray (been old for a little while; been gray for a long while!). I know that for me eternity isn’t all that far away. I so want to see God’s Church, His Beloved, return to Him in truth. I long to see my generation experience the Holiness and Awesomeness of our Father. I want to see Revival (or whatever you want to call it) fall upon us. I want to see it fall upon me while I still have a little strength.

Do not forsake me, O God, till I declare Your power to the next generation.

This past Christmas one of the women where I worked gave me an air plant. I had never heard of air plants before. They have no roots.  My air plant is sitting on the counter between my kitchen and living room.  It gets its nourishment when I spritz its leaves once a week.  I must be taking care of it ok because it is growing a bit. It just seems funny, not having any roots.

Being rootless seems funny for a plant. Being rootless is deadly for a Christian.  “As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.” [NKJV]

Believers are to walk in, or as some translations say, continue in Christ.  That is only possible when we become rooted in Him. We must drive our roots of faith deep. There is way too much in this life that tries to constantly uproot us.

And being rooted in our faith in Christ Jesus requires more than just getting “spritzed” once a week in church. If we want to grow, be built up and established in Him, we must pray, read and study the Word, worship, and praise daily. An hour on Sunday isn’t enough. The world’s influence and the enemy’s attacks on our faith happen every day.

And if there is one “nutrient” we need to stay grounded in faith, it is thanksgiving.  The first words from our lips in the morning, and the last words before we sleep should be, “Thank you, LORD!”  They should also flow from our hearts throughout the day.

“Thank you, LORD!”

“’Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.’   The words ‘once more’ indicate the removing of what can be shaken-that is, created things-so that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ‘God is a consuming fire.’”   [Heb 12:26-29]

The writer of Hebrews quotes two Old Testament verses. “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens” is found in Haggai 2:6, and “God is a consuming fire” comes from Deuteronomy 4:24. The writer of Hebrews employs these two verses in a prophetic reminder that God, at the end time, will shake the earth and the heavens. When the shaking is done, only His kingdom will be left standing.

While that is a promise for the future, it comes with a command for the present. And that command has a warning. The command is that God’s people are to be thankful, and they are to worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.

The worship in today’s church doesn’t always reflect reverence or awe. We have become comfortable with the image of God we have painted. It’s an image that is no threat to us, it’s tame, docile, always bowing to our requests. But that’s not who our God is in truth; and Jesus told the Samaritan woman in John 4 that those God seeks to worship Him must worship in spirit and in truth.

In truth, our God is holy, wild, unpredictable and uncomfortable. He may comfort us, but He is in no way comfortable. He cannot be tamed, nor contained. And therein is the warning, our “God is a consuming fire.”

Let us always worship the true God, the Holy God, acceptably with reverence and awe, in the awareness of His Almighty Power.