November 18
Who am I?
This is a week of doctor appointments for me. I see both my general practitioner and my specialist. I do not know what to expect from either one as I tell them that my body is falling apart from one of the meds I take, and that at times I think the “cure” is worse than the “disease.” I wonder if I will walk away satisfied with their responses or realizing once again that they do not really have any solid answers. This is a hit or miss response to diseases that are not clearly understood and treatments that are “the best” they can offer now.
I could get discouraged and think that life is one trial on top of another, but then I remind myself that this life is a temporary one and the gift that God has granted me is more than I ever hoped for or thought possible. When life gets heavy, when pain threatens to overwhelm, or disabilities affect the things I really want to do, I am reminded that I am a Child of God. God-loves-me. God-wants-me. How-is-that-even-possible? I-know-what-I-am.
In 2 Samuel 7, David looks around at all he has and decides he wants to build a temple, a permanent dwelling place for the LORD. Initially the prophet Nathan agrees with him, but then God intervenes. He sends Nathan back to David with a word that David is not to build the temple because he has been a man of war, but his son will build it.
Then he tells David, “Your house and kingdom will endure before Me forever, and your throne will be established forever.” [vs 16 HCSB]
That word from God drives David into the LORD’s presence and David utters words that I too have uttered. “Then King David went in, sat in the Lord’s presence, and said, ‘Who am I, Lord God, and what is my house that You have brought me this far?’” [2 Samuel 7:18 HCSB]
Who am I, LORD God … that You wanted me, gave me Your love and grace, and have brought me this far? Why me, LORD?
No matter what life may throw my way … God has brought me “this far” and will continue His loving kindness to me until I stand in His presence. I think I may be saying, “Who am I, LORD God” throughout eternity.
