Tuesday was a busy day. I started with the library, then to a store to pick up a birthday card and gift card for our grandson who turns 23 next week. I then headed to the mall to walk a mile. Mid-afternoon brought an eye doctor appointment, a stop at a grocery store to pick up a reward gift card, then a quick bite to eat before heading to church for “Pursuing His Presence Prayer.”
I like getting to church an hour or so before prayer formally begins. It’s my time to get my mind quieted and my spirit and soul in the right place to hear what the Spirit is saying to the church. Yet last Tuesday, all that evaded me. I simply could not focus. After fussing for a while, I picked up my Kindle and began to re-read Mark Buchanan’s “The Holy Wild, Trusting in the Character of God.” [Published by Multnomah Books, 2003]
In Chapter Four “Visitor in the Camp,” Buchanan retells a story about a young Vietnamese boy and his mother. The story ends with the comment, “Love that does not suffer with the suffering of the beloved is not love at all.” While that comment shook me, it was a question Buchanan asks later in the chapter that really hit me hard. “What if God only loved as I did—proportionally, moderately, prudently, frugally, as it suited Him?”
“What if God only loves as I do?” What if? In that moment, I could feel an overwhelming sorrow welling up from deep inside. I felt the weight of a culture where the youngest bully in the school and the most powerful man on the planet scream insults and taunts. I felt the weight of a culture that would rather put hate on display than love, wickedness rather than goodness. I felt the weight of my own often cold and uncaring heart. And I wept. “What if God only loves as I do?
Thankfully, He loves so much more. [John 3:16]
