I am not a crier. Well, let me qualify that. I cry when I pray for others. I cry for the people I love. I cry when I worship. Sometimes I cry just sitting and seeing the glory of God’s creation or thinking about God’s love. So maybe I am a crier. I just don’t cry much about myself or my needs or circumstances or situations.
I spent the first 23 years of my life in self-pity. When my first child was born with birth defects and struggled through her first year, my self-pity began to wane. My child’s needs became the most important thing at that time.
When I surrendered my life to the LORD a few years later, self-pity moved to the rearview mirror. Instead of asking “why me?” I began to try to find what I could learn in each situation and how I could grow in each choice. I’m not saying I am perfect, I’m not. I run to God A LOT! Often in repentance and godly sorrow.
But last Monday, I sat and cried … not over anything life threatening or life altering, but over my insurance company’s refusal to renew my prescription for my diabetic continuous glucose monitor! I depend on that monitor to keep my diabetes in control, but since I’ve been doing such a good job of that, I no longer met the qualifications for one. That didn’t even make sense to me.
So I had my moment of self-pity. I sat in my chair and whined for about an hour. I told God that I don’t ask much (which I’m sure is not true) and cried a bit. Then I just let it go.
An hour later I got a call, and the insurance company decided it would cover my sensors after all. I don’t think it was my self-pity-party that changed its mind. I think it was my LORD, who loved me despite my pitiful reaction. Only He could move an insurance company that fast!
“He feels pity for the weak and the needy, and he will rescue them.” [Psalm 72:13 NLT]
