I once took a course on how to fight “fair.” (I’ve told you that Bob and I are strong, obstinate people, haven’t I?) The course was designed to eliminate the triggers we often resort to when angry and instead use protocols that encourage dialogue. I remember most of what I learned; I just can’t say that I’ve always gone about it the way I know I should.
One trigger to avoid was the “pointing finger.” Instead of beginning sentences with “you” as if pointing a finger at the person, begin sentences with “I.” “I feel …” was a good way to start. The second major trigger to eliminate was the use of the words “always” and “never.” Avoid saying things like, “You never …” or “you always….” Always and never, the instructor said, should seldom be used.
Well, maybe in arguing we should eliminate always and never, but certainly not when talking about our LORD and Savior. I love the always and never promises I read in the Word of God. They lift my heart and soul daily.
Matthew 28:20: “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
2 Corinthians 1:19-20: “…but in [Christ Jesus] it has always been ‘Yes.’ For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ.”
Psalm 9:10: “…for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
Hebrews 13:5: “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”
When we want to fight fair, we probably should eliminate “always” and “never” because they can trigger an angry defense. But, when we are talking about our wonderful, ever-present, all-powerful, all-knowing God, “always” and “never” trigger faith and peace. Hallelujah!
