More from my Retreat:

As Sunday left and Monday arrived, I found myself fussing, trying to make everything (and me) perfect so I could be prepared for what God might want to say or do. I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I pray? Should I be quiet? Should I sing and praise? I couldn’t quite get to a place where my spirit was settled.

As I walked around the room, I noticed that there were two pictures, both of water.  One had water flowing under a bridge, and the other had wild water pouring over rocks.  I realized how thirsty and dry I am. I am not strong like I once was. Holy Spirit, I need rivers of living water! I am thirsty.

I walked the room Monday while I cried, confessed, praised, worshipped, sang, and yes, fussed some more. I “tried” everything I knew to touch God. It all seemed to fall flat.

I meditated on a phrase I came across in one of my books: “I ask great things of a great God.”

 “Yes, God, I do!” My very next thought was: “Why in the world did I put on mascara this morning?” 

Crazy. Unsettled. Striving too hard.  Went to bed, not so much discouraged, as puzzled.

Holy Spirit, I need rivers of living water! I am thirsty.