Decades ago I began the practice of journaling. I followed “ACTS,” Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication. I also added an “L” for Listening. As I finished each day’s entry I would put my pen down and simply listen. Then I would write down whatever popped into my head. Sometimes it was a Scripture, or its address. Other times it was a word, a sentence, even a paragraph. That process greatly enhanced my ability to hear and recognize God’s voice from all the others.
I no longer journal, now I write daily devotions. I realize writing the devotions often has the same effect on my life as journaling did all those years ago. In the devotions I often wrestle with my will and aligning it with God’s.
I’ve been wrestling in my spirit with the message the evangelist had for us on Pentecost Sunday. The first thing he said was that God would honor “Pastor Terry’s desire” for His Presence as we have pursued Him in prayer, and those who have joined in that pursuit would also be blessed.
“Pastor Terry’s desire.” That was the first thing that shook me. “My desire?” A heavy burden fell on me at that moment. I was flooded with questions. What if I grow weary and stop pursuing? What if I lead incorrectly? What if I miss “what the Spirit is saying to our church?” What if I take my congregation to the “North Gate” only to find that Jesus has entered the “South Gate?” What if ….?
Fear entered my mind. It took me a very long week to remove that fear and trust that as God has led me to this pursuit, He will lead me to the place at the right time when His Presence comes (Revival!). I have nothing to fear.
Ps 56:4: In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? [NIV]
