I discovered recently that I am a lot more messed up than I thought I was! I don’t cry easily, which seemed to be a plus when working with hospice, hospital and convalescent facility patients. I truly thought it was a strength to not shed tears easily. When praying for the Lord’s Presence in Revival, however, I realized that not shedding tears is in fact a weakness.
Being able to cry before the LORD, reaching out to him through tears, is a necessary attitude in prayer as we seek His Presence among us for a spiritual awakening. I am learning to cry before Him, but so far only when alone in prayer. So, I arrive an hour or so before the scheduled prayer time and cry and pray alone with the LORD. When everyone else arrives, my crying is done.
I’ve thought a lot about why that is. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, my relationship with my mother was probably the most difficult in the household. It certainly was the stormiest! I refused to allow myself to cry in front of her. I would not let her see just how our difficulties really affected me. That seems to have carried over to my adult life.
Yes, I am a lot more messed up than I thought I was. But, I serve a God who heals messed up people. He heals not only physical diseases, but emotional ones. He heals memories and brings new life. He has promised us,
“Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace…. But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.” [Mal 4:1-3 NIV]
Jesus, the “Son of Righteousness” has risen. He has brought healing to those who place their faith in Him. I know He will even heal this “messed up” me and my soul and spirit will leap in His presence! Thank you, LORD!
